Penguin Grievances

Submitted by Anonymous on 24 February, 2008 - 12:33am.

Festivus In Antarctica by a Penguin not named Pavel
A typical airing of the grievances during Festivus goes something like this:

It’s to cold!
Why does it have be so cold?
Why doesn’t Al Gore come down here and bring some of that Global Warming stuff already?

Why does your breath constantly smell like fish heads?
Why can’t you look more like Scarlet Johansson?
Your no Danny DeVetio!
Why is there no bar at Club Penguin? Come on people how can you have a club with no Mai Tais or Piña Colada for penguin sake!!!!

What don’t my wings work?

Why didn’t I leave and go to the big city and become a famous food critic like Pavel did. Why can’t I have a cool address like this one http://www.pavelthepenguin.com/ and be a big city penguin.

I wish I was Pavel Penguin and could live at http://www.pavelthepenguin.com/

Penguin Grievances Part Deux

Submitted by Anonymous on 28 February, 2008 - 2:03pm.

Penguin Grievances Part Deux

Festivus In Antarctica by a Penguin who continues to deny that his name is Pavel

The airing of Festivus Grievances continues as follows:

All right! All right! Enough with the ice already!
Will you people stop making the snow yellow where I sleep!!
So God do you get a kick out of giving me icicle hemroids?
Why is My Name Is Earl so popular? I Just don’t get it….

This Viagra is not helping my wing thrust to weight ratio…I continue to be earth bound!!! Cure for vertical dysfunction my frozen ass!!!!!!

Why didn’t I leave this icy misery and move to warm digs like Pavel did [Pavel’s warm digs: www.pavelthepenguin.com ]

A post script of a little penguin guilt justification:
So I pinched the waitress at Club Penguin…What do you want I was high on Omega3s.