From a 5 year old to his baby brother

(As dictated to his mom on Festivus morning):

I don't like it when you put my fingers in your mouth.

I don't like it when you grab my fire hat.

I don't like it when you eat my cars.

I don't like it when you grab the balloons.

I don't like it when you grab my crane when I don't want you to.

I don't like it when you cry in the middle of the night, but I don't want you to move into another room because I like to hear you breathe.