There are very few times – if any at all – when deep cleaning your home sounds fun. The last thing you want to do after a long day of working or taking care of the kids is whip out the gloves, get down on your hands and knees and scrub the floors like they used to in earlier years.
HEY! You people wearing sandwich boards advertising for pizza joints, beauty shops, payday loans: STOP DANCING AND ACTING LIKE FOOLS!! I may look at your sign that says, "Little Caesar's Pizzas for only $5!" and think to myself that a cheaply-made hot, fresh pizza would really hit the spot!
The nerve of some people, tarnishing the good name of Festivus!
Don't go saying you have "selective hearing"; when your kids are engaging a vocal db range, that is past ear-drum straining, through their undecipherable babbling (right in few feet proximity).
Tony McLaughlin from Failsworth, you are a wonky-eyed twat with a personality disorder that needs professional treatment. You are a 60+ year-old man but when you don't get your own way, you throw hissyfits like a little girl.
I missed reading new grievances, so I am once again allowing new users. This will open the site up to spam and create annoying burdens on me! Sigh.
To the City of Farmington, New Mexico, thanks for turning off the neighborhood water without notice. You bunch of doofuses!
(As dictated to his mom on Festivus morning):
I don't like it when you put my fingers in your mouth.
I don't like it when you grab my fire hat.
I don't like it when you eat my cars.
I don't like it when you grab the balloons.
You are essentially a waste of space and I wish I didnt live within your range of stupidity
all of you
yes you too
do something useful for a change