Festivus In Antarctica by a Penguin not named Pavel
A typical airing of the grievances during Festivus goes something like this:

It’s to cold!
Why does it have be so cold?
Why doesn’t Al Gore come down here and bring some of that Global Warming stuff already?

Why does your breath constantly smell like fish heads?
Why can’t you look more like Scarlet Johansson?
Your no Danny DeVetio!
Why is there no bar at Club Penguin? Come on people how can you have a club with no Mai Tais or Piña Colada for penguin sake!!!!

What don’t my wings work?

Why didn’t I leave and go to the big city and become a famous food critic like Pavel did. Why can’t I have a cool address like this one http://www.pavelthepenguin.com/ and be a big city penguin.

I wish I was Pavel Penguin and could live at http://www.pavelthepenguin.com/